Its been extremely awkward at the house for the last couple of months. Some how without me really noticing we went from a happy household(playing cards, and hanging out every night..) to people who don't talk to each other and have sides. Its the normal Garrett, Chris, and I on one side and Ian and Thomas on the other. We can't seem to do anything right in their opinion and they can't do anything right in our opinion. I was so frustrated everytime we have a "fight/discussion" because nothing gets fixed. We just walk away pissed off and the tension builds even more. Ian who was our friend from the beginning has become a stranger. Thomas who I felt would be a great friend and just needed a new start has turned into a user. The sad part is that in both of their cases I felt like I was helping...Ian needed to move out of his parents apartment and Thomas was homeless. They needed us and we could help. We had all the furniture, kitchen utilities, washer and dryer..everything you would need for a house. We gave Ian rides while he was trying to get his license unsuspended(due to not paying for his ticket), we gave Thomas rides to work, we borrowed money from my dad so we could move faster, I met with the Landlord, the bills are all in my name, I post the bills on the calendar so they know whats going on, I pay the bills, I got Thomas a job working for my dads company(that he later quit), we understood when Thomas didn't have a job and we offered to help him find one, we fed Thomas and let him stay with us during December when he didn't have any money, I supported the idea of Thomas going to college and bringing his kid over, I looked for a bigger house when we looked to move and paid more money so we could fit 5 people, I let it go when Thomas broke my hookah and never replaced it, I let it go when Ian went behind my back to hang out with Bri just because he knew it bothered me, I let it go when they randomly brought a cat home(even though they knew how I felt about paying the deposit), I didn't hold grudges when they lied to me about smoking in their bedrooms(which they still most likely do), I didn't make a big deal of the fact that Ian wasn't honest about Thomas's mental state(he isn't taking any of his meds), I didn't judge Tommy when he told me has 2 felonies, a suspended license, a child he doesn't pay child support for and would never win Father of the Year Award, we included Thomas and Ian in all our Christmas events and I wrapped tons of random things so they would have things to open on Christmas Eve, we didn't judge Tommy when he went to the hospital, we picked Tommy up when he got stitches in his hand or when his wife and kid came to visit I attempted to clean up, I let it go when the neighbor told me that Ian picked E.V. up by the collar, I let it go that no one offered to buy a lawn mower, I let it go when they stopped pitching in for groceries or sharing laundry detergent, or when they walked through my bedroom instead of going around, or when Ian accused us of going into his room(because HE misplaced $50) and now locks his door, or when they demanded to see all the bills(like I would lie) or when they bitch about the electricity bill when they leave their windows open with the AC running or pay the utilites after they pay their cell phone bill, or throw glass bottles in the yard so I pick up a whole ziploc bag of glass that my dog could have stepped on, or when they complain about the Crystal Springs water machine(that costs $6.00 a month) or when they stick a sticker on their door and walls not caring if it peels the paint because it will just come out of the security deposit that they didn't pitch in for, or when I can't find a pot because they cooked the night before and left everything out and now I have to wash the dishes or when WE get yelled at for being loud at night because we have the TV or music on when they come home slamming doors and yelling random things outloud when we are watching a movie, I was ok with the fact that all of sudden we might have a kid over at our house at random times, I forgave them when they didn't put enough money in my account(and didn't warn me) or parked behind my car just to be assholes or treated my friends like crap.
I just feel like all the three of us have done is give. I have tried so hard not to judge them..to believe that they care about me and my feelings and my things. But unfortuantly they don't and they will never care about anyone other than themselves. I honestly don't understand people. What do people expect from friends? Have we just let bad friends get by with their actions and just hoped that one day we would find a friend that we didn't have to point out when they disrespect us and our time? I don't get it.
Needless to say...Tommy has informed me that he is moving out August 7th.
I don't understand how someone can be so selfish. I want him out. I've been thinking of different ways to get out of the lease with Ian & Thomas for a while now. I don't support the things they do and I don't want to be around it anymore. They aren't the people I want to be. Their morals suck and they would lie, cheat or steal just so they could be happy. It will work out in the end. It just irks me that as normal the good people get screwed. The people who want to help get taken advantage of by the people who can't help themselves or anyone else for that matter.
Why do people that trust and care for other people always have to be screwed over? We are tossed aside and they move onto some else to hurt. I'm a giving person by nature. I don't want credit or awards all I want is someone to treat me the same way if I ever need help. I believe that what goes around comes around and thankfully I am a bigger person so I will let it go but it sucks that I feel my heart grow a little colder towards others. I am sick of being used and I am too good to be a user. I am hurt and angry and I feel like I just need to get away from all types of people like this and realize that I can't save the world.
Sorry to rant but it felt good listing everything down that they have done. It makes me feel like I'm not crazy when I feel so crappy. I'm only 21...they aren't my kids...I don't owe them anything.